Niet meer sturen a.u.b. Heb ‘m inmiddels drie keer ontvangen. Blijft na een jaar of zes/zeven nog best wel grappig. Alleen is de eend inmiddels vier kilo aangekomen en geschikt geworden voor zes personen daarnaast heeft het een extra staartje gekregen voor de volgende dag….. Hier is het verhaaltje voor degene die het (nog) niet kennen:

Koop een eend van ongeveer 5 kg voor 6 personen, twee grote flessen Schotse whisky, spekreepjes en een fles olijfolie.De eend larderen en de binnenkant inwrijven met peper en zout. De oven voorverwarmen op 180 graden en een longdrinkglas voor de helft vullen met whisky.

De whisky opdrinken tijdens het voorverwarmen van de oven. Daarna de eend op een muur-/ vuurvaste schaal leggen en een tweede glas whisky inschenken. Het tweede glas whisky opdrinken en de eend in de oven zetten.Na 20 minuten de oven op 200 graden zetten en 2 glaven vubben met whisky. De glaven opdlinken en de scherven van et eelste glav oplaapen. Nog en nalff glav insjenke en opdlinke.

Na en nalff uul de hoven opedoen om deend te sjekkn. Blantwondezalf in de padkamer ganaale en opde povekand van de linkerand toen. Denove nen sgop geve.

Twee glave whiskiinsjenke en tmiddeste glaf leegdwinke. Den nove opedoen naadattet eerste glaf leegis en de sjotel vastpakke. Blantwndezalff op tbinnekand van de regtehantoen en deend oprape. Deend nogis oprape en metten nantdoek de bwantwondesalv vandeheent fege.

Ze hande ontvette me visky en de tube mesalv veeroprape. Tkapotte glazzopvege en deent teurg in dehove doen. Deheent oprape hen de ove eers opedoen.De twwwiede flesj bisky pedoen en regtopsette. Opstaan van de floe en tochma blijfe zitte. De bles opde gronf neerzette. Uide bles dlinken wande glave zijn opof kabot. Denove afzette, dooge sluiten en omfalle.

Laat de volgende morgen de eend degusteren met citroen en mayonaise. De hele middag en de vroege avond de rotzooi van de muren en het plafond verwijderen en de keuken opruimen. De glasscherven en de flessen naar de glasbak brengen en op de terugweg paracetamol en maagzout kopen?

For the English among you, sorry, the above is Dutch. It’s a joke I’ve found three times in my inbox. It also has no use to use translation tools on it either, I doubt they can handle the language.

No, not something about a weird 1950’s era movie, but sometimes you read funny or remarkable things in the newspaper or in this case a website (nu.nl). The UK will get invaded by thousands of bathtub toys on it’s Southwestern beaches according to the article. Those toys are swept overboard during a storm in 1992 and have been floating ever since (at least most of them). This took place on the Pacific Ocean and the toys where being shipped from Hong Kong to the United States. Depending on ocean currents they have been found in Alaska, Australia, Indonesia, Peru and the Westcoast of North America (after being stuck in the Arctic ice for three years). This fact have made the Friendly Floatees famous as they have been used to model ocean currents.

I’m just being careful……… As last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications. He is also now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product documentation, though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself so that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. Some applications such as GameNite 6.3 , Bachelor Party 2.5, and Pubnite 5.0 are no longer able to run on the system at all, causing the system to lockup when launched (even though the apps worked fine before).

Wife 1.0 provides no installation options. Thus, the installation of undesired plug-ins such as Mother-in-law 55.8 and the Brother-in-law Beta is unavoidable unless you run the Chinese version on a foreign system. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features my friend would like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:
– A “don’t remind me again” button.
– Minimize button.
– Ability to delete the “headache” file.
– An install feature that provides an option to uninstall 2.0 version without loss loss of other system resources.
– An option to run the network driver in “promiscuous mode” allowing the the system’s Hardware Probe feature to be much more useful/effective.

He wished he had decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 3.0 Even here, however, he has found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 4.0 on top of girlfriend 3.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 3.0 first, otherwise the two versions of Girlfriend will have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. Other friends have told me that this is a long-standing problem that he should have been aware of. Guess that explains what happened to his version 1 and 2.

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn’t work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another identified problem is that all versions of Girlfriend have annoying little messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0!

My friend also was troubled with the following bug:

All users should be aware that Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Once that happens, Mistress 1.1 won’t install and you will get an “insufficient resources” error message. To avoid the aforementioned bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and make sure that those systems never share any data over the network. It’s best to install Mistress 1.1 on a completely stand alone system.